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Words are fun, and funny, for us English speakers.  Our everyday language changes just about every day.  Not everyone can keep up, either. I actually stood and listened to a black kid in a newly integrated school tell her teacher that she was “the baddest artist in this class”, which, of course, Teacher misinterpreted.  Comedians have included this very sort of thing in their routines.  Of course, in my peer group, bad is just “bad” and “baddest” is just poor... Read More

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you... Read More

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the U.S.and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run, will ya!" A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run, will ya!" The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as... Read More

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." ... Read More

An Italian, a Frenchman, and a Scotsman were playing golf when they spotted a stunning mermaid on the shore. They all dropped their clubs and ran down for a closer look. The mermaid was incredibly beautiful and voluptuous. The Italian, burning with desire, asked the mermaid: "Have you ever been fondled?" "No, I haven't," whispered the mermaid. So the Italian walked over and hugged and fondled her warmly. The mermaid said: "Hmmmm, that's nice." The Frenchman, not to be outdone, said: "Hav... Read More

A ranch woman takes her three sons to the doctor for physicals for the first time in their lives. The doctor examines the boys and tells the woman that they are healthy but she needs to give them iron supplements. Not knowing exactly what iron supplements are, she goes to the hardware store and buys iron ball bearings and mixes them into their food. Several days later the youngest son comes to her and tells her that he is pissing BB's. She tells him that it is normal because she had put them... Read More

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says: "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and s... Read More

Nothing in my life can be normal. I, and most people who know me well, have come to accept that as a simple fact of life. So when The Coyote (my girlfriend) came into my life, expectations were high that she would somehow interject even more entertainment into my already peculiar ability to turn the mundane into the absurd. Needless to say, I am not disappointed.

This story begins with the arrival of small electronic device that arrived at my humble abode shortly after The Coyote. It appe... Read More

Many years ago I had a dream that is one of those few that stick with us forever. Like most I've had dreams of dying, but only this one had a past life story line to it and it wasn't my life. It is the only dream I have ever had where I was another person. I generally don't dream in colors. This doesn't mean I dream in black and white I just don't really remember color much when I dream. Dreams of dying seem to change those rules. In real time thinking this dream lasted less than 60 second... Read More

HELLO TO ALL MY BIKERS FRIEND.  TOM WENT TO HIS DOC APPT TODAY ABOUT HIS OPEN-HEART SURGERY.
RESULTS WERE THIS:  HAS INFECTION IN ROOT LEFT IN GUMS,CAN NOT OPERATE BECAUSE HE IS ON CUBERDEN(BLOOD THINNER), HE COULD BLLED OUT IF HE HAD IT NOW.
FIRT THE INFECTION MUST BE GONE, SO HAS TO STOP THE CUBERDEN BEFORE HE CAN HAVE ROOT PULLED, AND HEALING TIME FOR INFECTION WITH PENICILLIAN, MAY TAKE A WEEK, THAN HE WILL BE OK TO HAVE THE ROOT PULLED, THAN AGAIN WAIT FOR THAT TO HEAL, THAN... Read More

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