Regardless of where we are born, how old we are, where we work, or anything else, we all seek happiness.  It’s like the eternal search for the fountain of youth, it never ends.  We’ve all seen good times and bad times, many of us have faced tragedies, illnesses and hardships that come with living.  The problem so many is that the good times are forgotten to soon and the bad times, tragedies and other bad events stay with us forever.  For far too many of us, it changes our lives forever and we don’t seem to be able to restart the happy times motor that lies within all of us.  The question we all ask is how can I find happiness and where?

There is no magic solution to finding happiness, no pill, no secret formula, nor is drinking the solution, although sometimes it brings momentary happiness, the same for sex, or drugs, or whatever. Happiness has to start within us and that is the difficulty for all of us. No one can give it to you; you need to work at it. We need to be happy with ourselves and what we have, not want we don’t have. We can’t go around wishing we were like someone who may be more attractive, better endowed (men and women), wealthier, or anything else.  You are who you are so, make the best of it. Gaining happiness takes courage, a real desire to find it, the ability to accept what we are dealt, and the willingness to find something good out of the bad things that happen to us.  We need to move pass bad things in our lives.  I am not suggesting that you can ever forget some of the tragedies in life, but you must be able to move past them, if you are to find real happiness.

When my son, a San Diego Police Officer was killed in 2003, I knew that I need to focus on making something good out of this, or it would destroy me.  The good came by starting a Trust Fund in my son’s name in San Diego to support the Children’s Activities that he supported, and I helped organize a group of former members of the military, police officers, and firefighters who ride to help other by raising money.  Nothing I can do, say, or wish will change what happened that day, but I can at least associate good things with the memories of him, knowing that I am continuing to do what he loved to do, help children.  It also helps me to continue to look forward and ways to continue to live a full and happy life.

I spoke of courage.  Far too many of my friends and others I have met along Life’s Journey want to change, but fear what others will think of them.  They become stuck, living their lives as others think them should instead of the way they would like to live.  I am not suggesting that you become some sort of idiot who wonders around doing stupid things just because it makes them feel good.  I am simply saying meet life head on, weigh the options, and if that what’s you want to do, do it!  It’s what I call seizing the moment, because that moment will never come again, and you will always wonder what it would have been like, if you had to courage to seize that moment. What every that moment is you will either enjoy it, or you won’t, but at least you will never wonder what it would have been like.  A major problem for so many people is that they do things and then want to tell someone, their best friend perhaps, and that is where things can become can unpleasant, and make you and others unhappy, because your best friend will have to share the moment with someone else.  Our lives should remain private and what you do should not become either a conquest, a matter to gossip about, or something to make others envious.  It is private and it is a personal experience that you chose to do, so keep it that way.

I spent a great deal of time on the road each year and all I ever say about a trip if someone asks, “How’d it go, I talk about the weather, the sites I’ve seen, and other things no personal things, it is never more than that.”  I feel no need to tell anyone about any personal experience I had, because that is what they are, personal.  I wake up every day looking forward to what the day have in store for.  When bad days come, like they do in life, I look forward to what might happen tomorrow, knowing I did everything I could that day to be happy, it just didn’t work that day.

I am sure that some who read this will think the old fart needs to get a real grip on life and grown up.  If facing life each day means not trying to have fun and enjoying it means I’m growing up, then I’m happy I haven’t reach that stage of life, and quite frankly, I hope I never do.  If someday you see some old guy on a bike ride past you with a silly grin on his face, just ask yourself, “I won’t why he has such a big grin on his face.”  I’ll never tell.

Ride Hard, Stay Safe and Enjoy Life as it Comes

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