Okay I know Iam not a comedian nor do I claim to be but I have over the years tried to make as many people laugh as possible. Couple this with the fact that I have really rotten luck and always end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and you get an idea of how my life goes. I have never tried to be funny, i just try to be fun is my look at things. A couple people on here have asked me a couple of times to just write down the stupid shit that goes through my head so they can see how I think. I think this is a very bad idea because how I think is a strange place of mystery and mayhem and the odd occurence of me being a total dipshit without couth or class.

With this being said I want you to know I am not trying to be funny..this is the random shit that pops in my head.

If the pope was Baptist would he still wear a dress?

Do camels ever think they are pussy toed?

Do fly's ever think they are hung like human?

All guys wanna sleep with a ten.....if ya sleep with 10 one's in a single night would it count?

If blondes really do have more fun then why do most guys love screwin redheads?

If everything is bigger in Texas would ya really wanna screw a chick that had a vagina the size of an oil drum?

If Fords are "Ford Tough" and Chevy's are "Like a Rock" and Dodge uses wild sheep as a symbol does that mean they sell better to single guys in search of love?

I once had sex with a Russian girl....that is all I have on that comment, atleast I think she was a Russian girl..hard to tell with the beard and all.

If a woman of questionable morals has a pussy that smells like dead fish would a fish of low standards have a pussy that smells like a dead woman?

If baseball truly is the "Great American Pastime" how come so many guys jackoff like they do?

If PETA is so ethical how come thay have that nasty twat Pam Anderson a a spokesperson?

If a cat is gettin some pussy and they are on top of each other back to belly is it still doggy style?

If Mexico is so damn great how come we needa build a fkn wall?

If single women don't fart because they have to have an old man to have an asshole do lesbians just burp alot?

Do they call it a "Blow Job" so hookers in Nevada can write mouthwash off as a business exspense?

Why do they call it a "Blow Job" anyhow....I had a girl one time took that shit literally and thought she was gonna start tying poodle balloon animals outta my pecker.

If Montana cowboys fk sheep on cliffs so they will push back how come kentuckians fk cows on stumps and never complain?

If you put yer pecker inna womans snatch and a baby pops out 9 months later can ya put yer pecker up her ass and 9 months later a California state Trooper pop out?

And finally one that has bothered me for years....does an elevator smell different to a midget and if a midget used mouthwash could anyone tell?

It took me about 10 minutes to think of these as I read the news on Yahoo....disturbing isn't it? :D

Bookmark: