A guy goes into a supermarket and buys:

          * one tin of beans
          * one bag of chips
          * one pack of burgers
          * one tub of icecream
          * one cake
          * one yogurt
          * one pint of milk.

The checkout girl looks at what he has bought and says, "You're single, aren't you?"

The guy is amazed and says, "Yes.  How did you guess?"

The girl replies: "You're an ugly bastard."

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A VERY ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and orders a draft beer. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man.  "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, you know, just like in the movies.  I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.  Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time!  We made love all night, all over the house.  We did everything, in every position imaginable!

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard, was she pretty?"

"Dunno............Never found the head!"

********   *

Tags: UGLY-MAN

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