While this has been around for a number of years, there sometimes comes a need to review some of these items just to keep your own mind in check before you step in the doo doo. As with the original bill of rights, this is to be considered a living document and subject to change now and then. A few things have been added over the past few years, some to suit my own personal needs or requirements. Some of you may want to pay special attention to ARTICLE: II

One key thing to remember is, if you live your life by three simple items, you will never have to worry about the doo doo. HONOR, HONESTY, INTEGRITY. You cant have any one without the other two.

All other crap aside, this really does make some sense.


We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guide lines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill Of Rights and are so dim that they require A BILL OF NO RIGHTS

ARTICLE I

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything, get a fucking job and earn it! If I catch you stealing it, I will more than likely thump you until someone stops me.

ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. Go ahead and say what you want to, just remember, I have the right to rebut you and likely will if your talking a bunch of trash that you know nothing about.

ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; Do not expect the manufacture to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but they are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. Get legal in this country or get the fuck out! If you need help in getting out, LET ME KNOW! I will help you! This is what I call being charitable.

ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. Get over it and get a job!

ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people without cause. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair, hung, gassed, or even shot by firing squad. (You should get the same punishment as you delivered but we are more humane than you are.) Too bad for us! One thing you should keep in mind here. Gods job is to forgive but there is no law saying I have to. If your stupid enough, roll the dice and take your chances.

ARTICLE VII”

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still don't have the right to a big screen TV or a life of leisure. But you will have plenty of time to heal once we’re done with you.

ARTICLE VIII:

You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to sooth your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX:

You do not have the right to a job. All of us want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X:

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights to begin with.

ARTICLE XI:

This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from. English is the official language of the United States of America. Learn it or go back to wherever the fuck it is you came from!

ARTICLE XII:

You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all, with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH SHIT!!!!

So as not to confuse anyone, and to put things in laymen’s terms - get a fucking job, quit whining, get a life, and join the human race!!! If anyone thinks that they are being targeted by any of these statements, YOUR GOD DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE!

Oh! And for all you atheist fuckers, if you think you are being persecuted by the more common religions, sit down in a nice little coffee shop and have a great big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Bookmark: