Tag: joke

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"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll  give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
 
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."  ... Read More

11 LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS

1. Put on your glasses.2. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
3. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
4. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
5. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
6. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
7. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
8. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually... Read More

 If I let you grab ONE part of my body,
what part would you grab?
Keep this going to both sexes!
See what body part gets grabbed the most!
ROFLMAO!
C'mon everyone I would love to see what you have to say on this one!
~Peace~
Jeanine
... Read More

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.

"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
(Well he is 90 years old now) The driver said, "No problem. Have at it"  Billy gets in the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.... Read More

  I just had to share this joke that my mother-in-law had sent to me just a lil bit earlier today! I had to laugh because it was so cute!
  Rick & I are doin sorta good, Rick is still having a hard time with his breathing, and Sunday night sometime we lost power here in Chariton, and Rick had an appointment with his Cardiologist, but he missed it Monday morning! Thank God he called, and they rescheduled it. Plus this coming Monday morning, he has an appointment with a new primar... Read More

  I have some truly wonderful friends, that just LOVE to text things to me on my phone, whether it be jokes or just some texts that they think that they need to share, and think that I have to share with everyone else or else I will have 7 years of bad luck!  Hell I have had a few years of bad luck already, I really don't think that another 7 will hurt me at all! But I thought that I would share them with ya'll, just to see what I get in my texts...I know, this has NOTHING to do with b... Read More

Some oldies here ... hopefully, still good for a laugh.

-John

==============

ANOTHER TOUCHING STORY

An elderly man lay in his death bed. Expecting to die at any moment, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted
himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with superhuman effort forced himself down the stairs, gr... Read More

Q.     What do you call a parent who teaches abstinence as sex education?     A.     Grandma!

* * *... Read More

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil
>> (this is too cute)!....You don't even have to be
>> Catholic to appreciate this one.
>>
>> Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in
>> Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.
>>
>> One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she
>> was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the
>> universe?"
>>
>> When Mary Marga... Read More

 
Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.   The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'  
Chuck replied,  
'Well, then just give me my money back.'  
The farmer said,  ... Read More

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